☻Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
☻Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
☻I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
☻Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
☻Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
☻Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!
☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.
☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.
☻Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!
☻Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…
☻Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams……
☻My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too…
☻Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? …Okay, then can we just practice?
☻I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
☻Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks your an asshole…
☻If you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi…
☻Don`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!
☻Hi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis………………………ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry…………..
☻Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!
☻It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
☻News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
☻God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
☻The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”
☻CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
☻Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime?
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